When quitting is actually the bravest thing you can do

There was a poster on my school wall that read: “A winner never quits and a quitter never wins.”
For years, I believed it.

It was one of those messages that seemed to stick—loud and clear, ingrained in the way I approached work, life, and expectations. Like many people, I internalised the idea that quitting equalled failure. That to succeed, I had to keep going, no matter how hard things got.

But as I’ve learned through experience—especially as someone with ADHD—life isn’t always that simple. Sometimes, quitting is exactly the right thing to do.

After more than two decades working in the NHS as a nurse, I found myself at a crossroads. I’d spent years doing a job I loved and believed in, but it was demanding, exhausting, and relentless. And, over time, I realised that it just wasn’t working for me anymore.

It wasn’t a snap decision. I wrestled with guilt, fear, and uncertainty. Would I be letting people down? Was I giving up on a career I’d worked so hard to build? What would life even look like on the other side?

But deep down, I knew something had to shift. I needed to prioritise my mental health, my family, and my own wellbeing.

And here’s what I discovered:
Sometimes, the strongest thing you can do is stop. Step back. Change direction.

Leaving the NHS allowed me to take stock of my life. It gave me the breathing space to ask myself some big questions—about who I was, what I needed, and what truly mattered to me.

That pause led me to retrain as an ADHD coach. It gave me the opportunity to use my skills and lived experience in a different, more aligned way. And most importantly, it allowed me to support others—especially women navigating ADHD and perimenopause—with honesty, empathy, and insight.

Why quitting can feel especially hard when you have ADHD

For those of us with ADHD, change isn’t always straightforward. We’ve often spent years masking, adapting, and working twice as hard just to keep up. We’ve internalised messages that tell us we’re too much, or not enough, or never quite right.

And when you’re already carrying that weight, the idea of letting go—of quitting something that no longer fits—can feel almost impossible. It can bring up feelings of shame, fear, and self-doubt. We’re not always used to trusting ourselves, because that trust has been chipped away over time.

But the truth is: you are enough. Just as you are. You don’t need to prove yourself by burning out or staying in spaces that no longer serve you.

You don’t have to do it alone

When I made that big decision to leave, I didn’t do it alone. I had support. From friends. from my family and from my own ADHD coach. And that support helped me take the leap.

If you’re standing at a turning point in your life—whether it’s about work, relationships, or your own wellbeing—know that you’re not alone either.

Give yourself permission to explore what life could look like if you made a change.

Ask yourself:
What would I do if I believed it was possible?
What do I need right now?
And who can I reach out to for support?

Because sometimes, choosing to quit isn’t about giving up. It’s about starting again—with intention, clarity, and the belief that things can be better.

And in my experience? That’s what real winning looks like.