Sarah West ADHD Coach - Why I don’t drink alcohol

For years, I thought my struggles in social situations were just part of who I was. I’d go out, have a drink, and feel like I was finally relaxed enough to have fun. But more often than not, it would end with me talking too much, interrupting others, and oversharing. And there are so many.

In the moment, it didn’t always seem like a big deal. But the next day—and sometimes for days afterwards—I’d be hit with a wave of regret. I’d replay conversations over and over in my mind, analysing every word I’d said. I’d convince myself I’d embarrassed myself or upset someone. That familiar knot of shame would settle in my chest, and I’d spiral into negative self-talk that felt hard to escape.

It wasn’t just a hangover. It was an emotional fallout.

As someone with ADHD, I now know that what I was experiencing was likely linked to Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)—a common but often misunderstood part of ADHD. RSD makes you feel intense emotional pain in response to perceived criticism or rejection, even when nothing has actually gone wrong. Alcohol, I realised, was turning the volume up on those feelings.

Then came perimenopause, and things changed again.

Alcohol started affecting me differently. Even just one or two drinks would leave me anxious, wide awake in the middle of the night, and feeling off-balance for days. My tolerance dropped. My mood dipped. I felt overwhelmed, drained, and physically uncomfortable. The hormonal fluctuations I was already navigating felt like they were being amplified.

It wasn’t just that I didn’t enjoy drinking anymore—it was that it no longer worked with my body or brain.

That’s when I started working with my own ADHD coach. Through coaching, I began to understand my patterns and how ADHD and hormones were affecting me. I learned new tools and strategies to manage both—and one of the most powerful shifts I made was deciding to stop drinking altogether.

Giving up alcohol gave me back a sense of control.

I found that I could still go out, still be sociable, and still enjoy myself—without the emotional crash afterwards. I could come home and go to bed without spiralling into worry. I could reflect on the evening with clarity and kindness, rather than shame.

Coaching also helped me work on that relentless inner critic. The one that told me I’d said too much, been too much, or made a fool of myself. Learning to challenge those ingrained beliefs and reframe how I think about myself has been life-changing. It’s still a work in progress, but I’m so much kinder to myself now than I was back then.

Everyone’s experience is different, but for me, alcohol, ADHD and perimenopause were definitely not friends!

If you’ve found that drinking alcohol makes your symptoms worse—or leaves you feeling low and full of regret—it might be worth exploring your relationship with it.

There are ways to manage ADHD and hormonal changes that don’t involve struggling through alone. Giving up alcohol was pivotal for me to help manage my ADHD and perimenopausal symptoms, and I share this in the hope that it might help others who are on this journey too.